The Godless, Baby-Killing Sodomite

Rest assured, this isn’t a post about Alaska Governor and Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin.  This is a post about porn.

If you haven’t heard about Larry Flynt’s ambitious Who Nailin’ Paylin? featuring Lisa Ann as Governor Serra Paylin in her erotic journey as a vice-presidential candidate that eventually culminates into a three-way between herself, Senator Hillary Clinton, and Secretary of State Condeleezza Rice, then you’re not reading enough Hustler.  The script was completed in a mere three days and production is already underway to accommodate a pre-election release date.

The script can be viewed here , but I’ll give you the safe-for-work highlights.  Serra Paylin is reading the latest issue of Today’s MILF when there’s a knock on the door.  Two sexy Soviet soldiers explain to Ms. Paylin that they’ve crashed their tank and must call the Kremlin, which of course is Russian for “tow truck.”  It just gets better from there.  Take a look at this piece of romantic dialogue that puts Billy Shakespeare to shame:

YOUNG SERRA: Professor, I’m awfully sorry to pester ya, but I was wondering if you knew any good rituals that protect against witchcraft.

PROFESSOR: Of course I do, but you’re going to have to trust me.

YOUNG SERRA: You seem like a regular, upstanding fella.  I trust you 100 percent.

PROFESSOR: Don’t be alarmed if I start speaking in tongues.

I don’t say this often — in fact I can’t remember a time I said this that wasn’t sarcastic — but gosh darnit this is one of those news items that just deserves that always uninterpretable phrase: God bless America!

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